Joy: Good morning – the days go by and I feel like talking with you again. Something that stops me is that I haven’t (don’t feel able to) processed all the information that you have already given my previously.
Guides: Dear one. Be kind, be gentle to yourself. We are always happy to advise you and have no expectations of what and when you deal with the emotions raised. Do not let this stop you.
There are many benefits to your correspondence with us. Even as a daily reminder to be gentle with yourself and learn not to have expectations of your self; as we do not and nor does God.
You have not failed, and there is no wrong, and you won’t be punished or even judged for your progress.
You were judged by your parents continuously, and the fear of judgement, humiliation, and punishment were with you all the time; this was started by your mother as she was with you solely for the first 2 years and then she had the major influence, and your father gave you no relief from that.
As with many other childhood injuries, these fears feel so much a part of you, that they feel ‘normal’. These fears are blocks to feeling your injuries with your mother and also your connection with the feminine side of God.
You have made more progress with your father emotions for various reasons – your desire for your soulmate and there were not so many fears to break through first.
Focus on the fear first.
With love and thanks
Joy: What can you add to this to help me with longing for Divine Truth?
Guides: Yes dear one, this is the next step in your progress to God. Longing for Divine Truth all the time on every issue; this keeps you connected to God and you have generally skipped over this step, only remembering occasionally to ask for truth.
When you ask for Truth in a heartfelt way God will always respond. You have experienced this on occasion – for example when you wanted to know about your sleep state experiences and when you wanted to understand your hooks into the angry woman (your mum).
Can you see it’s counter productive to have a desire to know what you are doing in the sleep state unless you are longing for Truth? You haven’t really desired to long for Truth on a regular basis. This is connecting with God, this is prayer, this opens the way for Divine Love and it will precipitate many emotions that your soul is ready to deal with, if that is your desire.
In this way, longing for Divine Truth leads to humility.
Joy: Yes I want to long for Divine Truth and be willing and ready for everything that comes up.
Guides: Repentance is something else you have done from time to time but not consistently (dabbled is your word). Yes repentance can be very helpful in releasing error you have created in your soul through harming others and also clearing the causal injury through God’s grace and mercy.
Jesus did tell you that you must learn what happened to you as a child before you will know the extent of damage you have done to others, particularly your children. Repentance will be particularly helpful for you in your progress at this stage.
As you plan and write a list of the causal emotions you are aware of, this will be a good starting point for both longing for Truth and wishing to repent and asking for God’s mercy to clear the cause.
It is helpful for you to discover your fear list and your causal emotions. You have made a start.
Joy: I would like to change my body this year and there area obviously emotions I am holding onto, which is why I also hold onto the weight. Please help me with this.
Guides: Yes dear one, it’s OK to talk about this we are happy to advise you and it is good for you to be aware. There is some cross over in these issues with other matters we have discussed recently.
Basically fear and unworthiness are the 2 main issues which are weight related.
Fear of being controlled by your mother. Unworthiness to be loved by anyone – not mother, not father, not God.
We would like to mention that whilst your commitment and dedication to progress are commendable, be careful not to become hard on yourself, as you tend to do.
God is never hard, God is always gently, very gentle and wants you to be this way; first with yourself and then with others, as that would be most loving for all.
Love is always gentle and kind. Like the verse in Corinthians, which you are aware of.
Gentle like you would treat a baby; you are just a baby to God, God’s baby. How will you learn to be that gentle with others, until you learn to treat yourself that way.
Gentle does not mean weak and firm is not being hard. Gentle and firm are what is required and you have seen Jesus and Mary practice this and live this.
There is still an injury that you expect to be punished by Mum, Dad, and God and fear of punishment is what causes you to be hard on yourself.
Thank you with love.
Joy: I feel I must focus on my money and abundance issues. I don’t want to go bankrupt; I would rather feel the emotions which must be felt anyway.
Guides: Yes dear one. We rejoice when you make any progress; your commitment is encouraging.
There are many childhood emotions, some of which you are aware, which effect your feelings of abundance or lack really.
There is your mother’s control and feeling that you can’t have anything you want. This stops you acting in your desires as well.
Again it is fear or terror which is blocking you from really feeling this; the fear of humiliation from mum and fear of ridicule from dad. The grief is about only ever having what mum and dad want you to have and never what you want.
Also there is the issue of money being the most important thing in your parents lives and you being the least important thing; feeling that you are nothing, worthless, don’t deserve anything. Even God doesn’t want you to have anything you want, because of your unworthiness.
Fear of being controlled is also a block to feel. How do you feel when you don’t have the money to do what you want?
I feel fear of being controlled and restricted.
This is what you need to feel and release; can you see it’s meant to trigger this emotion?
When you have money to spend how does that feel?
Free – free of control and restriction.
It’s all about control and feeling worthless.
I feel so fortunate to have such beautiful guides. You really are a gift from God and I am very grateful.
Thank you with love.
Joy: I know there are many other emotions blocking the progress on the house and more importantly my relationship with my son S. I feel ignored, powerless, unimportant, trapped and unworthy.
Guides: You actually feel abandoned by your father, both when he went to war when you were a couple of weeks old and later on his return when he stopped having any kind of relationship with you at your mother’s insistence.
The situation with the builder and your son, many situations in fact, are intended to trigger this emotion. Feeling abandoned is connected to your loneliness. There was no one there for you; that is the truth.
Your mother totally ignored you, except to control and humiliate you. And you had such hope that your father would be your saviour. At first you feared (as did your mother) that he would die at war and not return, then later you lost all hope of him having a relationship with you.
There is fear blocking you from feeling this – fear that it will be forever. That even God has abandoned you because you are unworthy. That is why even though you went to church and a Christian school, you had no faith that God (like dad) would ever be there for you.
Feel the fear “that no one is ever going to be there for you”.
Can you see why you found it safer to be alone – you couldn’t let yourself down.
Thank you with love.
Joy: Please help me with the emotions which are blocking progress on the house – specifically with my son S and with the builders.
Guides: You are unwilling to feel your father emotions. There is a deep grief about him not talking to you and not listening. And if he’s not talking to you then you don’t feel loved. You can’t skip to “I don’t feel loved” you need to feel “Dad’s not talking to me.” And he will never talk to you because mum won’t allow it.
Next is your fear of your mum – fear of humiliation, fear of being in trouble when you have done nothing wrong, fear of control, never being allowed to do what you wanted, only what mum wanted.
Joy: Thank you , that was very helpful, I realized why I like men who talk to me, particularly JED – we talked every day for hours either in his office or on the phone.
Realization: If the man talks to me I think that’s love.
Reinforces the value of speaking regularly.
Julian is my eldest son in the spirit world, passed by miscarriage in 1964
The twins – Daphnie and Gertie passed by miscarriage in about 1966
AJM is my first husband
Joy: Julian, you seem so much happier.
Julian: Yes, I have cried a lot as I have seen you do and the twins have been very helpful guiding me on the path. I am happy to see that my father AJM has been found by S and that he is very excited by that new relationship. It has given him a new lease of life. He is keen to meet you again and I can see that you are too.
Yes he also has misgivings about your past together and how your relationship came to an end. He is keen to learn about you, as you are about him. Your realizations and repentance have helped me a lot. As you know from when we first spoke, I could never understand your attitude towards him and this was blocking me from wanting to move on.
I understand now that it was my wanting to know and understand and I needed to feel it – the girls helped me. I look forward to my journey to God. It is the most important thing in my life and I am grateful for your example in this. The girls saw you first and they have progressed well since then.
Yes I have met my grandfather AH and he too is happy, delighted with his life in this world (spirit).
Know that I love you and am grateful to have you in my life as my mother and wish the best for you. Your progress and realizations help me a lot.
Your eldest son, Julian
Joy: Thanks Julian and love to you.